In my work as a coach for founders and executives I am struck by how consistently and wonderfully my clients are in service to others, to their org, to their family and to their community.
This week a client presented with both a career event and a life event coming up around the same time later in the year. The theme he wanted to explore was around planning and comms, what emerged brought a tear to my eye.
Inspired by Nancy Kline's wonderful Time to Think book I asked my client:
"what else do you want to say about what you are thinking and feeling about this theme?"
... my client shared some feelings of uncertainty, overwhelm and anxiety.
I asked the very same question again, my client paused... for some time... he was now really thinking... he said that he had been brought up to be strong, and that he wasn't feeling strong.
I asked the question... again... he took a moment and simply said:
"it feels so good to be thinking about me right now, to be listened to, to feel like I really matter here". Wow.
We briefly explored the idea of reaching out to someone outside of work and family to really talk with, to be listened to, to be given the time and the attention, to matter. I could see him deciding who that might be. All seemed good.
I then asked the very same question... again:
"what else do you want to say about what you are thinking and feeling about this theme?"
... he said he would like to figure out "how to feel more calm with what's coming up." I asked "what are the assumptions you are making that get in the way for you here"
He paused, initially confused, then shared his deep assumptions and strongly held beliefs around being strong, just needing to do it, the need to lean in and not dwell or over think it - after all that's what had got him where he is right?
I said nothing... the space was there for him to think... he said "I need to admit what 's really going on here." Wow.
I asked if he would be happy to share that level of openness and vulnerability with the friend he had previously thought about. And here comes the tear jerker, he replied:
"I am not happy to show the vulnerability to myself."
Partnering with people who can move from a theme around planning and comms towards completely raw, naked, truths is why I coach. That's life right there. We all want to be listened to. We all want to feel like we matter.
If this resonates with you let's talk